Sister, Day 2

{Well it's about time.}

[Sorry for the delay. You know how it is.]

{Yeah...}

================

{} I awoke to familiarity. The same old bedroom and bed and nightstand and chair and I'm still a girl, aren't I? Yep. Dang.

The feeling of breasts was still strange to me. It was equally strange for my hair to be that long. And, well... Everything was different. Not just the obvious; it was subtle in some places... I don't know.

What was certain was that I wasn't too fond of the new weight tugging on my chest. They weren't that big, I think, but I still wasn't used to them.

Nor was I used to the lack of feeling of things between my legs. Not that I paid attention to that much before, but you never know what you have until it's gone, right? Heh... yeah...

It's...everything felt the same, mostly...but at the same time, it all felt so...different. It's hard to explain, but it all felt...off.

I didn't really want to get up at the time, though. Largely because I was still tired. I wasn't much of a morning person. Still aren't.

But then the door opened, and Jeff walked in, before he stopped and turned away. "Sorry," he said.

I knew what he had to do. Get dressed for college. It's what I would've done about then. Or...what I used to do about then. "Go ahead," I said, hiding my head under the covers. Sure, he didn't have anything I hadn't seen before, but I knew he still had qualms about changing around anybody. At the same time, I still didn't want to get up.

I could hear fabric hitting the floor. I didn't know what he was changing (shirt, probably; he didn't change underwear that often, and with me in the room, it'd be just weird), but I didn't care.

"Okay," he said eventually. I assumed he was dressed now, but I still didn't get up.

Then I heard other things moving. "What are you doing?" I turned and saw him packing a backpack. Oh, right. School. College. Shoot. It was Monday.

"Have fun," I said.

"Sure," he said. He then hesitated before adding, "Breakfast?"

I sighed and shifted up to look at him through the long hair I still wasn't used to. He was putting a book into his backpack. And yes, he was dressed.

In silent agreement, I started to push aside the covers, but then I remembered I was a girl in her underwear and kept the covers on. Well, at least over my lap; I was wearing the same T-shirt from yesterday (and the bra; I don't know why, but I never took it off last night), so everything was fine there; I just didn't want him to see my panties...even if they were those boyshorts things.

My panties. That's a sentence I never thought I'd say.

Anyway, I waited until he left before getting out of bed. Picked a pair of shorts from the bag of clothes, changed to a green T-shirt, headed out to breakfast. Cereal with milk. Hadn't yet tried regular milk to see if I'm still lactose intolerant; I should get to that.

"So," said Jeff, "what's up for today?"

My first thought was "school", but two things stopped me from saying that. The first was my mouth being full of cereal. The second was that, since I had time to pause and think, I realized school was out of the question. No way my teachers would believe I was Jeff.

I shrugged my shoulders. "TV?" I offered. "Or video games?"

There wasn't much to talk about there. It wasn't a dream, which meant I really was stuck like this, but I'd done all my crying about it yesterday. But then... I did need to get things settled in my life, so I could start moving on and doing things. Not that I knew how to do that...or that I was ready. There certainly wasn't anything to talk about. Or, there was, but I had no idea where to start, Jeff probably couldn't help, and... no, I knew Jeff couldn't help. How was I supposed to settle things?

Really I had no idea what to do. Not to talk about, not to pass the time while Jeff was at school, not to settle my life... I had no idea.

So the uncomfortable silence lasted until he left to catch the 88 bus, and even after. I, meanwhile, huddled in my ro- ...Jeff's room. Loaner or not, it still wasn't technically mine anymore. Nothing was. Except a handful of girl's clothes. Well that was disappointing. The sum of my belongings reduced to half a drawer full of clothes.

At least I could buy time with... Aw crud. He took the laptop, didn't he? Yep. Great; now how was I supposed to pass the time? Read? ...well yes, I could just read.

So I tried to pass the time by re-reading Eragon. Old habits die hard, and I tried to lie on my stomach to read. Well, apparently breasts don't like that, and my hair kept falling over. So I sat leaning against the wall instead. Better. Except... my vision was still fuzzy. First order of business was getting new glasses.

And keeping my hair out of my face. How did girls put up with it all the time, I wondered? I weighed the alternative, of wearing skirts if I got a haircut (I still couldn't believe Mom insisted like that. Maybe she wasn't serious? But she didn't sound joking...). Still wasn't ready for skirts. Not now, maybe not ever.

But still, frankly I was starting to get bored. Usually when I read a book, I would get lost in the story. But it just wasn't happening this time.

With the brothers off to school, I went into their room to play the Wii. Tried to play Smash Bros. again. Tried Mario Kart. Tried bowling on Wii Sports Resort. I just couldn't keep interested long enough to get lost in it.

There was too much on my mind. I just...I was just too worried. What would happen to me? I didn't have an identity, no records, no nothing. What would happen if people found I existed when I legally didn't? Identity fraud? Tax evasion? Being cut up in a lab? No, that's dumb. They wouldn't do that. They'd most likely assume I was just a person who either got erased or never had records at all. Which was entirely true. But it didn't help my mood. Fact was, I legally didn't exist. There wasn't anything I could actually do. Couldn't get a job, couldn't go back to school, couldn't do squat.

So what was there?

I wanted to stop thinking about it. Do something to make me ignore it. But what? Jeff took the laptop, Wii games weren't doing anything, reading wasn't working... I had no idea. I had to do something. Not just to get my mind off things; I was bored.

This is one of the reasons I went to school, I realized. Because I'd be bored otherwise.

Hmm...

================

{Alright. I got my part done. Jeez, it's been a while. Hard to remember everything that happened.}

[I know. Why do you think it's trouble for me? I remember the key events, but the details...]

{Yeah. Well, you better finish your part. The deadline you set is tomorrow.}

[Right.]

================

[] Rocks. Too many rocks. Was that one orthoclase? Or feldspar? No, that was the other one...right? Are those the same thing? Argh! I studied this! Go to one of the rocks on the tables, name it, find its structure, whether it's sedimentary or metamorphic, its cleavage, hardness, texture... Maybe I should've studied more. Okay, let's go back and check this one. What is it...

Damn. Out of time. Shoot. Why does this keep happening? I do okay in the studying, but then I bomb the test. I better get it together for the next one. Where'd I put my stuff? Wait, it's back in the classroom. Pencil, test... Turn the test in first. Alright, that's done. I know I failed that one. Schist. Back to class...

...What's Leslie doing here? "Leslie?"

"Hi." She turned around from looking at the rocks behind the glass in the hallway long enough to see me, but then returned her attention to the rocks. I don't think they were that interesting; I just took the class to get another science credit.

I would've talked some more, but I had to follow the class and get my stuff. "Be right back," I said.

When class let out some odd minutes later, she was still at the rocks, only this time she had a small thing of M&Ms in her hand.

"So..." I started to say. "I thought you were still getting used to things at home."

She took a deep breath. "I guess...I just wanted to be somewhere familiar."

I nodded. Sound reasoning if anything.

"Besides, you took the laptop. I was getting bored."

I couldn't help but smile a bit at that. "Alright. So what now?"

"I dunno. I was gonna wait for you. Not sure after that."

"Well I was gonna head home for lunch."

"Yeah, I figured."

Right, she knew my routine.

"So how was the rock test?" she asked.

I sighed but stayed silent. It was my habit of remaining mum when asked something that I knew the asker wouldn't like the answer. Such as doing poorly on tests or report cards or whatever.

"That bad, huh?" she said. Right, she knew my habits too. Why was it difficult to remember she was me until yesterday? Maybe because she was separate from me?

"Yeah," I said, starting to walk towards the door. She followed me.

Waiting for the bus was a bit boring and uneventful, as was the ride home. Despite her being bored about the laptop, she didn't ask me for it to use. Nor did I use it myself.

Then she spoke. "You know... I could help you study for the next one."

I glanced at her curiously, but then couldn't help but agree.

It was another ways down the road before I spoke. "Think the piano'll be open tomorrow?"

"Probably."

More silence.

"You think I could have the laptop tomorrow?"

But that's where I kept my notes. Still, she was probably bored. "Okay."

We finally got to our stop, an hour after we left. Got off, crossed the road, went home.

I plopped my backpack on my bed--Leslie's bed, for now--and went to the kitchen. A couple sandwiches later, and we were back in my room. Which was, frankly, a horrible mess. I needed to clean it. Badly. There were piles of clothes on the chairs, not even counting the bags of Leslie's clothes. And... well it was just a mess.

Leslie took my laptop out of the backpack and logged on. I kept it password protected. I was about to object, but decided not to. She did know everything I did. Why was I having trouble with remembering that? She was me. She was basically me with breasts. ...that was a scary thought.

"I keep forgetting you know everything I do," I said.

She looked over at me for a moment, then turned back to the Internet. I leaned closer to watch the screen.

"Think we should tell the forum?" she asked.

I hesitated, but said, "Hmm mm." Basically no. "Not yet."

She read some of the comments. "I think... I should get my own forum account."

I shrugged. "If you want."

She was quiet again. Why were things always quiet?

"Well... I dunno. What do you wanna do?" I asked.

She shrugged. "Honestly... I don't know. I want to do what I already...used to, before... you know. But... I can't do anything without... without an identity. I can't go to class, I can't get a job, I can't...do anything. Get anything."

Not what I'd meant to ask, but okay. "We'll work on that. I don't know how, but we will. But what about right now?"

I don't know what I expected her answer to be. But what was wasn't unexpected. "I dunno. Computer... Wii games... We could practice the piano."

So we spent part of the day doing just that, except halfway through a race (I let her pick Rosalina, because I usually picked Rosalina), she asked, "Hey, wasn't I supposed to help you study?" I shrugged, and we went back to racing.

{} When we went to the piano, one of the songs we tried was the Super Mario World Athletic theme. It always looked like a two-person song to me. There were a few shaky starts, but we managed to get it going. We also practiced a few Zelda songs. It'd be something to work on, but we could do good with this.

After dinner, I handled washing dishes and taking out trash. I promised my grandparents I'd do chores, so that's what I did. Later, me and Jeff were in my...his ro- no, our room. He was getting ready for bed. Which consisted of taking off his pants and sleeping in the T-shirt he wore today.

"Heading to bed?" I asked.

"Yeah," he said.

"You know... This is your room."

"Yeah, but you're in here."

"You can't sleep on the couch forever."

"Well where are you gonna sleep?"

I shrugged. "There's a chair right there."

"You can't sleep in a chair forever."

"You've slept on a tarp in the dirt. I don't think a chair is any worse." And it wasn't even that bad a chair; it was a soft cushy recliner. It was fine for sleeping in. Once we cleared the stuff off it, that is.

"Yeah, but...privacy."

This was a valid point, but then... "So? I've seen everything already. Remember I was you until two nights ago. And you walk around at night in your underwear anyway, so what's the problem?"

This disregarding that I...he wasn't even comfortable looking at himself in a mirror. There was still that sort of mindset in him that didn't like looking at anybody's junk, even his own.

"The problem," he said, "is it's your privacy. Yes, you've seen me as much as I have. But you're... You're a girl. And I...don't want to...you know, look."

"Neither do I. You think I'm okay with this? I'm staying clothed too, you know."

At that point, someone knocked on the door. Jeff opened it ('cause he was closer), and it was Mom.

We said our hellos before Mom asked her bombshell question, "Leslie, have you showered yet?"

I pretty much turned white as a sheet (well, figuratively; Jeff's sheets were sky blue). "Uh... No?"

"Honey, you need to shower eventually."

"Mom, I'm not..." I slumped my shoulders. I knew she had a point, but I was not ready for this. We had some back and forth, but realistically, I had no argument. No valid reason to skip showering and smell like a pigsty forever. And I knew that. But I need to build up to it. I wasn't ready.

Eventually though, I just...got tired of the insisting. "Fine. If it'll make you happy, I'll go scar myself for life." I marched off down the hallway.

It wasn't much, it wasn't heated, and it was more annoying than angry, but I think that counted as my first fight. Sort of.

Anyway, I went into the bathroom and locked the door. There was that mirror again. I stared at the girl in the mirror, and she stared back. I knew, objectively, that she was me, and had been for the last couple of days almost, but I still wasn't used to thinking of that reflection as being mine.

Stalling for time, I turned on the shower, hot water first to let it warm up before adding the cold water.

Stalling further, I sat down to pee and take a dump. I shuddered at the still-unfamiliar feeling.

Finally, I knew I'd stalled enough. I turned my back to the mirror and took off my shirt, then slid the bra off like a shirt too. I'd worry about it later. My pants and underwear were already off from the toilet, so yeah.

After the shower, I got dressed and returned to my room in awkward silence. Jeff was on the laptop, typing something. I got his attention by coughing a little. "Yeah?" he said.

"I...think I'm gonna take shorter showers from now on."

"How come?" he said.

Before I realized it, I explained, "Because I'm too sensitive in places to just stand there and soak like I used to and it's weirding me out. And my hair takes longer to wash and dry now and I need to start thinking about that." I sat down but kept talking. "And then I was thinking about getting it cut and whether I can handle skirts as a tradeoff. I don't even know if Mom was serious about that, but if she was any bit serious, I don't wanna take the risk. I'm not ready for girl things. There's just... just so much as it is. Hair, breasts...worrying about my future... Anything else, and I'll probably shut down. It's... it's too much. I..." At about then, I put my face in my hands. "It's too much..."

There was a familiar hand on my shoulder. Familiar in that I used to have it. Then I was pulled into another hug. Didn't this happen yesterday?

[] We just sat there for a while. No improvised music to cheer us up, no assurances that everything would be okay. The moment was enough, for now. But she was right. We needed to start working on ways to figure things out.

After who knows how long, I stood up. But she grabbed my hand. "Don't go."

I looked down at her, but she was standing up anyway. She moved to clear off the chair. I took the hint. Sure, I wanted to give her privacy, but... well, she was already feeling down, and I didn't wanna upset her further.

================

{That night, we slept in the same room.}

[Me on the chair while she got the bed.]

{It eventually became habit to do that. Whoops. Spoilers.}

[Yeah, spoilers. Not that that particular detail matters.]

{Right. So, anything else before we wrap this up?}

[None that I can think of. Which is a shame; this was kinda short.]

{I know. Over a year of waiting for something not even half as long. Kind of a rip-off.}

[Not too fond of the downer ending either. We should probably end this before we make half the story a chat between narrators.]

{Alright.}

[Hey, sorry for being late with it.]

{Nah, it's okay. You got it done. That's enough.}

[So...you won't mind if the next chapter doesn't come out until 2015?]

{Let's not get crazy.}

[Heh.]